Collection
by Bwans
Summary: Drabble, humor. A collection of shorts purely for amusement. There will be more shorts later, sorry. Please read and review!
1. A little too much information

A simple series of one shots, humor of course. Or drabble, but what ever you wanna call it is all right with me! Where they came from, I'm not quite sure…but here they are and they're purely for entertainment. I hope you enjoy!!!

Sasuke didn't dare breath. He didn't dare to move. He couldn't risk giving away his position; not when he was so close to his goal. Everything he had ever trained for relied on his next choice of action. He knew that he would never again have such a good time to achieve his goal. The goal of finally getting his revenge. Everything was riding on the next few minutes.

Sasuke sat for a moment longer; going through his plan of attack one more time to reassure himself that he had it all down to a science. He knew the one called Kisame was with Itachi, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was getting to Itachi; and nothing, absolutely nothing was going to stop him. Not even some fish faced freak totting around a messed up sword.

The raven haired shinobi took a deep, but silent, breath and readied himself. He prepared for the worst and primed himself to face death. While in the depths of his heart he actually wanted to survive, to prove he was strong enough (and not to mention he wasn't all that suicidal) but if need be, he would die in killing Itachi. As long as his lame ass brother died too. That's all that mattered.

"So, Itachi-san," Kisame said as they sat at the small wooden table in the restaurant. "Why did we come here again?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Well, he tried to raise an eyebrow. He doesn't really have any…does he? Anyway, Kisame was confused as to why they had to stop and get some fresh green tea.

"Because," Itachi began quietly and glared up from his funky hat. Kisame looked scared for a moment. "Even I like fresh tea," he finished and took a sip of his steaming tea. It was refreshing.

Sasuke rolled his eyes from his spot behind the curtain of the entry way. He knew he had to strike soon or else he risked blowing his cover, despite the other customers seeing him as they walked in. Luckily for him, there were only a few customers now, and he had it planned to take the fight outside as to not get any innocent bystander drawn into it.

Suddenly, Itachi set down his cup. Kisame gave him a puzzled look. Itachi didn't move, but had a look upon his face, near anger and annoyance, that merely served to confuse Kisame more. He went to ask what was wrong, though he felt like making a joke about Itachi burning his mouth on his tea, but decided to keep that to himself, for fear of being killed by the Uchiha.

"So, I see you've come to try again, eh Sasuke?" Itachi sighed. Kisame tilted his head some and saw the smaller Uchiha standing behind Itachi with a kunai to his neck.

"You're not getting away this time, Itachi," Sasuke growled, holding the kunai a little tighter. By this time, a few people noticed this scene, but went about their merry way, not really caring. Without warning, Itachi spun around in his seat and looked to Sasuke. Sasuke jumped back and cursed himself for making eye contact. He knew he was in trouble.

But strangely enough, there was no genjutsu. Sasuke looked around from the corner of his eyes to make sure nothing was coming out of the wall and that there were no other freaky signs of his brother trying to blow up his brain. "Sasuke-kun…" Itachi began, his eyes widening in a sickeningly sweet way. Well as sweet as Itachi's eyes could get. He stuck his bottom lip out in a small pout.

"What the hell?" Sasuke muttered under his breath. _Could this be a new genjutsu or something?_ He asked himself. His brother was scaring him nearly as bad as he did when he slaughtered their family.

"Can't you see I'm a little busy?" Itachi asked in a high voice. Sasuke stepped back some more and glared in confusion.

"You think I care?" he sneered.

"But…I'm with some one…_special_," he motioned towards Kisame. The fish man's eyes widened in shock, as did Sasuke's. Itachi rose from his seat and went over to Kisame. He slowly wrapped his arms around his Akatsuki partner and pressed his face against Kisame's. "Why do you think we're always together?"

"Itachi-san!" Kisame whispered harshly.

"Now, now my love, there's no need to hide it anymore. I'm sure my dear little brother will come to except it!" Itachi gingerly kissed Kisame on the cheek. Sasuke was thoroughly petrified and felt his brain oozing away, but Itachi kept going by making himself blush. "Tee hee, I'm sorry to have to come out to you like this," he rubbed Kisame's shoulders. "But, I thought it was now or never."

Sasuke slowly walked away and high tailed it out of there. He had decided what ever Itachi had done, genjutsu or not, he didn't want to stick around to see anymore of his brother trying to make out with a fish.

"Itachi-san!?! What the hell was that!?" Kisame exclaimed. Itachi seeing that Sasuke was out of sight completely, walked back to his seat calmly and sipped his tea again.

Itachi answered, in his usual monotone voice. "It got him to go away, didn't it?"

This sort of occured between my friends and I, and I just decided to write it. There's more to come! And as I said before, it's drabble so I'll come back to it now and then. I already have two others to go into this that I'm working on.


	2. Cappuccino is best served with paitence

Cappuccino is best served with patience

Jiraiya nearly spit out all of his fresh coffee onto Tsunade when he took a drink. It was hot, and it burned his poor tongue. Tsunade glared at him.

"In case you didn't notice, it's hot, ya dink," she said flatly. "You need to wait."

"I know, but I just can't wait. I want it now," Jiraiya answered as he attempted to take another drink. "OW!" he quickly at his drink back down and sighed.

Tsunade just glared some more and blew on her cappuccino; for she was smart and knew not to take a drink until it had cooled some. She had patience.

It was at that moment she realized her patience wouldn't last long, not with the presence of children.

Jiraiya cocked an eyebrow at the fifth Hokage as she glared in the opposite direction of him. They had sat at a two person table that was placed next to a low wall in the front of the restaurant. The wall merely served as a blocker between the dining area and the main entry way. And Tsunade happened to be glaring at said wall; or more of what was behind the wall and jumping up and down.

"Hey," a small child said as his head quickly appeared and disappeared behind the wall. "Look. At. Me." He said in between jumps. He giggled.

Tsunade continued to glare, her annoyance growing with the child. Her eyes followed him as he jumped up and down. "I swear to Kami-sama that if he doesn't stop soon…" she growled under her breath. Jiraiya feared for the child and was about to warn him, when suddenly the boy jumped up again with his tongue stuck out. That was the last straw.

It all happened in a flash, and before anyone could say otherwise, the child had been flicked in the forehead and went flying out the door.

(Outside)

Naruto stopped in mid step with wide eyes and stared at the child that had flown out of the restaurant and in front of him. He was going to stop in and get some hot chocolate, but this random kid had stopped him. Upon closer inspection he saw his forehead was red in the center. Just like it would be if he was…flicked…

This meant Tsunade was in there. And she was pissed at something.

(Inside)

"You know Tsunade, you're the Hokage…you shouldn't hit kids…" Jiraiya said as he was finally able to drink his coffee.

"No, no, you see, I'm the Hokage. I can hit kids and get away with it," she smiled evilly at him. Jiraiya didn't say anything more. Tsunade continued to smile, satisfied with her excuse and went to try her cappuccino.

"Tsunade-baa-chan!"

Tsunade jumped in surprise and embarrassment. She hated Naruto calling her that in public, and to top things off, since she jumped, she spilled most of her precious, HOT, cappuccino onto herself.

"You shouldn't just flick random kids! You're the Hokage! You're supposed to be nice—" Naruto stopped for a moment, seeing that Tsunade had an evil aura surrounding her. He quivered in fear.

"Ero-sennin," Naruto whispered to Jiraiya. "What's wrong with her?"

"I suggest you run, Naruto," Jiraiya answered, but he was too late. Tsunade put all of her force into a single flick and sent Naruto flying across the restaurant. Jiraiya sighed.

"You know, you shouldn't tell people to be patient when you can't do it yourself."

Jiraiya regretted opening his mouth when his coffee was poured all over his pants.

This was based on what happened between me and one of my friends, on two seperate occassions. The first was with the kid and I wanted to smack him for jumping up and down and not leaving us alone and then the second time, my friend wanted to drink his coffee but it was too hot. tee hee, didn't think any one would care about that, but I put it there anyway! thanks for reading!


End file.
